Wendy Ward

I don’t operate like I am free
time hurries me on

I don’t sleep when I need
I don’t eat what I need
I don’t stop when I need
I don’t breathe when I need

Every moment I’m
defining who I am
with the guilt of millennia
despite buddha and jesus

Every moment I’m
defining who I am
with the light of millennia
and with buddha and jesus

I’d be happy for a month or two
to have the detritus of my choices
strewn on the floor, like

coffee cups, dice, and dirty panties
coffee cups, dice, and dirty panties
coffee cups, dice, and dirty panties
coffee cups, dice, and dirty panties

bits of paper, scrawled
and waiting to be —
bits of paper, scrawled
and waiting to be —

I could take a vow of silence, I think
to not have to speak for a while
alone and quiet, external break
I’d take my brain out for a walk

Take my brain out for a walk
Take my brain out for a walk
Take my brain out for a walk
through the remains
of previous days, and future ones

— Let the children play! – (crescendo)

There I am, the artful curve of my ****
beautiful for me to feel

There I am, the artful curve of my ****
beautiful for me to feel
There I am, writhing like a bug in poison
and the poison is me

There I am, the artful curve of my ****
beautiful for me to feel

There I am, there I am, there I am ooooh

There I am, there I am, there I am ooooh

There I am, there I am, there I am ah-ah-ah…

There I am, motionless for hours

by Julie Clark